The Ninja of Oz
by BrandNewOrange
Summary: I think it's pretty obvious how this story will go down from its title. Sequel to "Finding Tobi" This time around the Akatsuki find themselves transported to Oz.
1. Prologue

I have no idea why I wrote this. Yes it's a sequel to "Finding Tobi" so there may be a few jokes in this you won't understand if you haven't read that. I'll try not to include to many of those though. Hopefully this won't be hella predictable.  
**  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, the Akatsuki, or the Wizard of oz. **

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Prologue

The six of them looked at the sight with a mixture of apprehension and awe. The leader had left them to look after this base while he and Konan had gone on a mission of their own for a change. Kisame was off somewhere training to fight with cutlery, and the final member of the group was yelling at the six in apology.

"Tobi is sorry, Tobi just wanted to help clean up!" the orange masked moron bawled at them.

Deidara's jaw dropped as he clung to Itachi desperately. His other hand grasped out for his Danna but before he could grab hold the storm hit. Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu and Sasori all tried to keep a grip on one another but so far the only two successful in staying attached were Itachi and Deidara. The whirlwind flung them high into the air, along with half of their home. They could still hear Tobi on the ground below apologising.

If this was anything like the last time, that idiot would be sorry.


	2. Chapter One

First chapter, woo. In which we find Deidara and Itachi have pretty much the same roles they did in Finding Tobi. Poor guys ;)  
**  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, the Akatsuki, or the Wizard of Oz**

* * *

The first thing Deidara recognised upon waking was a massive headache. Although this made him slightly more grumpy than usual, he was still pretty perky about being alive. He dragged himself to his feet and looked at his surroundings. The land was a sickeningly bright affair, but looked much better than the last time Tobi had cast a spell on them all. He tried to shake his hair out, and make himself feel better. He was however rewarded with a smack into his face from each side. The smacks were soft, and smelt vaguely like his favourite herbal essences shampoo.

He looked at what he was wearing and realised why.

A dress again! Why was it always him when it came to wearing dresses, and blue puffy out ones at that? This one was a short gingham frock, with a crisp, white, pinny over the top. But the icing on the cake was his hair. It had found its way into two long smooth pigtails either side of his head. They were fastened with poppy red ribbons. Deidara wanted to stamp his feet at this. His beautiful, artistic hair was not to be touched by hands other than his. And Sasori's if he was in the right mood. But other than that his beloved locks were off limits to all. Stupid Tobi, he just had to cast his stupid spells and ruin everyone's lives.

There was a sound coming from near his feet and Deidara looked down. He almost wet himself laughing at its source. A small black dog was yapping away angrily at him. The fur in front of its eyes looked oddly familiar.

"Itachi is that you?" the blonde giggled pointing at the dog. It stopped barking and appeared to frown at him. "Ha, and I thought I had it rough in the dress, un."

It was then the bomber noticed the odd light in the sky. It was speeding towards the pair, growing larger as it approached. There was a pinging sound and a lady appeared in front of the pair. She was clad in what seemed to be a pink meringue of chiffon and lace, plus the world's tallest crown. Itachi snorted as derisively as a small dog could at the woman. Apparently she knew how to use hairspray but lacked the skill of using a hairbrush. Deidara simply stared at her unimpressed as she waved her wand around serenely.

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" the affront to fashion asked the blonde. Deidara, still un-amused at people not knowing his gender glared at her.

"I'm a terrorist actually," he responded. Itachi barked something at her. It sounded a lot like "hn." The woman appeared not to hear either of them, as she was urging hordes of miniature people toward them. Itachi trotted over to Deidara's legs and stuck close by him as they crowded closer and closer.

"You have saved the munchkins!" the woman proclaimed, "you have saved them from the wicked witch of the east,"

"Woo-hoo, un" Deidara said sarcastically. These people were clearly deranged.

Suddenly there was a massive explosive sound, and the blonde looked around excitedly. Explosions! A spot on the floor began to fill with green smoke, and a venomous looking witch was stood within the cloud.

"Which of you did it?" the newcomer screeched, "who killed my sister?" she darted over to the two akatsuki, waving her bedraggled broomstick in Deidara's face. He noticed she was gesturing towards where he had woken up. Several objects from their hideout were scattered on the ground, including the sofa, a bookcase and some potted plants belonging to Zetsu. The most bizarre thing to have travelled with them however was what the witch was pointing at.

The huge statue they stood on for sealing rituals was currently in pieces; one of the enormous hands had landed on what must have been the wicked witch of the east. When he looked closely the bomber could make out a pair of feet sticking out beneath the rubble. The living witch lunged at him again, causing Itachi to yelp in surprise. Upset at his famous dignity being taken, the dog began to growl loudly at the witch.

"Aren't you forgetting the ruby slippers?" the fashion reject asked the witch, interrupting her tirade against the two akatsuki. The witch, looking hopeful jumped up, and ran over to her sister's corpse. The aforementioned shoes however were missing. Deidara felt his toes pinch and looked down at his feet. Great, just great. It was _always_ him this happened to.

"Ugh, these totally do not go with this dress," the blonde proclaimed at his newest accessories.

_'They do match your ribbons though' _Itachi thought to himself smugly.

"How dare you? How dare you take my sister's ruby slippers?" the witch ranted, "they belong to me!"

"Ah-ah. You cannot harm the child while she is wearing the ruby slippers," sang the meringue woman.

"I'm a guy, not a girl," Deidara muttered in annoyance. Sometimes he didn't know why he bothered. He missed the witch cackling and climbing onto a broomstick, before flying off in anger.

"I'll get you, and your little dog too!" came the cackles from the sky. The inhabitants of the land came out from their hiding places once more to crowd around the akatsuki began chattering and singing at him continuously, before the blonde decided he was fed up of the behaviour and pushed them all away.

"Hey lady," he interrupted the woman, "where the hall am I, un? And who are you for that matter?"

"Why, my child, you are in munchkinland!" the woman beamed back at him far too cheerily. "I am Glinda, the good witch of the north, and these are the munchkins. We are so grateful to you for freeing them from the witch,"

"Yeah, whatever, un" Deidara waved his hand dismissively. "so how do I get out of here and back home then?"

"Why, you must go see the wizard of course!" announced the good witch. "you'll get there if you just follow the yellow brick road."

Deidara and Itachi, fully aware they were already stood upon a yellow brick road made a run for it. Now they had some idea of where to head for they were definitely not sticking around with these weirdo's. Behind them they could hear the singing voices of the munchkins.

_"follow the yellow brick road!  
Follow the yellow brick road!"_

Deidara bent over to scoop up Itachi's small and furry form, his heels clattering on the stony road.

"I think I still have some clay on me, would you be opposed to me blowing the shit outta them, un?" he asked the dog. He was replied with a small woof.

He assumed that meant yes.


	3. Chapter Two

Oh lookie! I updated. :) You would not believe how many times I've had to rewatch this scene in the Wizard of Oz. Anyway, I hope you guys like it!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, The Akatsuki, nor do I own The Wizard of Oz

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Itachi trotted along happily on his new doggie paws. It wasn't _so_ bad being a dog. And at least he wasn't wearing a skirt and the tackiest pair of heels known to man. He settled down as the two akatsuki reached a crossroads. The gaudy yellow bricks split into several different directions. They were both wary of being led back to the three foot tall terrors in the munchkin village.

Hearing an annoyed grunt beside him Itachi glanced toward Deidara. It puzzled him how Deidara, in all his effeminate glory, had somehow managed _not _to camp up the outfit his was in. Currently, the blonde bomber had collapsed in a heap next to him. His usually pristine hair had become messy and windswept from the running, the red ribbons coming loose from his pigtails. His dress was already covered in clay, Deidara's anger at being chased by a meringue and some garden gnomes had transformed into an impromptu display of pyromania.

Deidara smoothed out his hair as best he could and began rubbing at his ankles and feet. However something was very wrong and Itachi could see that. His companion was tugging and pulling at his glittering footwear irritably, letting out small "hmms" and "uns" of distress. Itachi cocked his furry head and let out a small ruff, as if to ask,

"What is wrong?"

Deidara glared at him.

"They're stuck," the artist complained, his voice higher than usual, "and my feet are killing me, yeah!"

The next sound to escape the Uchiha's mouth sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and Deidara crossed his arms, standing angrily and stomping his feet like a young child.

"My god, how the hell does Konan do this every day?" the blonde continued to whine to anyone that would listen.

"Could you just shut up for two seconds of your life?" a gruff and extremely familiar voice interrupted. "I swear, sometimes you are worse than that infernal zealot."

Both of their head's shot up instantly and they began looking around frantically for the source of the voice.

"Kakuzu?"

"Woof?"

"Over here Blondie," the voice rang out again. Finally they spotted the tall figure of Kakuzu. He seemed taller than usual, his arms spread wide open, and a few birds perched on each one. He was in the middle of a field of corn, and didn't make any moves toward them.

Reluctantly, Deidara picked up his canine cohort and began to make his way across to the old akatsuki.

"What the hell, un?" Deidara asked, seeing that Kakuzu was in fact, tied to several upright poles. His pirate hat from their last adventure had been replaced by a large floppy fabric hat. His clothing was scruffy and ragged, patched up in places. This was Kakuzu however, and it wouldn't have surprised Deidara if the cheap looking outfit was his casual clothing. What seemed odd to him was the fact the older man looked, well, squishy. Not to mention there was _straw_ protruding from the stitches on his body, and tangled into his dark hair.

"Would you mind not staring and getting me down from here?" Kakuzu asked impatiently. The blonde nodded and reached out a hand towards Kakuzu.

"Don't touch my hat!" Kakuzu yelled defensively making Deidara jump ten feet backwards in shock. Well, it seemed his hat paranoia hadn't vanished yet. The startled ninja sat up from his spot on the floor quickly, a fresh pout on his features. He smoothed out his large blue skirt, which had somehow found its way over his head in the fall. Itachi mad an aggravated noise from his new position alerting the other two of his position.

When Kakuzu has surprised Deidara the little black dog had been thrown unceremoniously into the air, landing uncomfortably atop a rather oddly shaped corn plant. Had it been any other member of the akatsuki they'd have whined and complained at this. However, he was Uchiha Itachi. Uchiha Itachi didn't whine. Deidara let him down and he wagged his tail once, and precisely once, to display at least some gratitude.

The bomber resumed helping Kakuzu down from his position, this time tending to the stitched man's arms first. Eventually Kakuzu was free. The tanned ninja took a step forward...and fell flat on his face. Deidara and Itachi fought the urge not to laugh, but failed.

After ten minutes of endless laughter at Kakuzu's expense, they decided their sides hurt too much and Deidara took the old man's elbow in his hands. He helped Kakuzu out of the wheat field noting that Kakuzu was indeed a great deal squishier than usual. They sat down by the side of the yellow brick road, and Itachi scampered alongside them. Then it dawned on him.

"You're a scarecrow, yeah!" he exclaimed cheerfully. Itachi sighed, he thought Deidara was supposed to be intelligent.

"You only just noticed that?" Kakuzu intoned, sometimes the blonde's comments really did need confirming. Deidara frowned, before the miserly ninja continued, "Anyway, I can see that I'm a scarecrow, Itachi here is a dog, but what's changed about you?"

Deidara's frown deepened.

"Fuck off old man," he spat back, "I can just leave you hear by the side of the road you know. Have fun learning to walk, yeah,"

Kakuzu watched the blonde stalk off down one of the roads, Itachi's furry form hot on his heels. Well damn, he didn't fancy being stuck on his own again. He struggled to his feet and shakily began to step in the direction his colleagues had headed.

"Come on Blondie, wait up!" he shouted angrily after Deidara.

"I haven't got all day old man!" he heard a voice call in the distance, the silhouettes of Deidara and Itachi were mere blobs in the distance now. Feeling his temper rise, Kakuzu put his foot forward a little too heavily, and fell down onto his face again. A bird fluttered down in front of him.

"Shoo," he huffed. The bird hopped toward him, taunting the angry scarecrow. It was a rather odd bird, entirely white, and strangely shaped. If he looked hard enough it looked like it was...

Oh shit.

"KATSU!"


	4. Chapter Three

I'm BAAAAACK! Haha, I did mention this was going to be out soon. I'm surprised I was actually able to write it, I've written and re-written this chapter so many times. Well, Hope you all like it. Possibly not as funny as previous stuff, but I like it :D

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, The Akatsuki, Or the Wizard of Oz**.

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Well, this was certainly quite a conundrum. It had certainly never happened back home that was for sure. And he was rather cold now too, it seemed. This didn't really bother him that much. It was his current inability to move that was irritating Sasori.

Damn it, he was supposed to be on a mission with Deidara right now. And that fool Tobi had interfered, once again meaning they'd have to embark on some other ridiculous search for friends in some strange world. At this rate they would miss their meeting with an informant and the entire plan for the mission would be out of order. Not only that, but his punctuality would be at stake!

Also, his nose itched.

The redhead attempted to sigh, only to find his mouth wouldn't open. Oh great, this day was getting better by the minute wasn't it? If the brat (or anyone else for that matter) didn't find him soon somebody was going to pay. Preferably someone with an orange mask.

And so Sasori waited, and waited, until someone was ready to come and get him. All the while, the puppet master grew more irritated. Just as he was deciding on which poison to use on the swirly masked fool, he began to hear voices. Luckily they weren't the type he could only hear in his head. An odd shaped silhouette rose over the horizon.

"Look, I think I'm being gracious enough as it is letting you hold onto this thing, yeah," a familiar voice cute through the air obnoxiously, "if you complain once more about me going too fast, then next time I won't stop to pick up your damn hat,"

"If the hat goes you die Blondie," growled a much more masculine voice in return.

"If I'm not scared of Danna's death threats, I sure as hell aint scared of yours old man," laughed Deidara in return. Sasori could see them clearly now. The bomber had fashioned an absolutely hideous horse from his clay and was currently riding atop it haughtily. That dress was new. Holding tightly to the back end of said horse was the tall and lumbering figure of Kakuzu. He'd found a new piece of headwear to obsess over, it appeared, and was walking awfully shakily. Had he injured himself?

The pair were drawing level now, but they were travelling along that eyesore of a roadway. His own position was a little way back from that, what if they didn't notice him? Straight away he began attempting to move once more. Oh no, they were starting to pass him!

It was them the redhead saw what, or rather, who was in Deidara's arms. Nestled in the hold of the blonde was a small, sleek black dog. Something was off right then, Sasori knew it. The blonde didn't like animals unless they were fashioned from clay and exploding (or about to explode). No, this little dog had distinctive red eyes, and looked a little too pristine for a normal dog.

It was the Uchiha, the puppet master reasoned. How dare he look so comfortable in the brat's arms? How dare Deidara even think of carrying the other like that, so close to him? Sasori was not happy, and his struggles to make himself noticed doubled.

It could be said they succeeded. However, this was only because as the group were passing him he fell right on his face. The resulting clatter could be heard throughout the entire forest they were in. The three travelling companions (plus clay horse) whipped their heads in his direction.

"Sasori no Danna!" squealed Deidara excitedly throwing Itachi away and jumping down to help his incapacitated partner. It was lucky Kakuzu was on hand to catch Itachi, he hoped the bomber wouldn't be making a habit of throwing the dog about. This was twice now. It wasn't so lucky that once the stitched one caught the dog, he let go of the clay creation. This in turn caused the shinobi, who was still unsteady on his straw legs, to fall on his arse.

Unfortunately Sasori was unable to see this display, and was still seething about how close the two younger ninja had been from his spot on the floor. He felt his joints creaking as the blonde began to pick him off the floor and set him upright. The redhead glared at him and made an undignified grunt. He received a frown in return as Deidara examined him closely.

"Since when were you made of metal Danna, un?" the blonde asked, before turning to Kakuzu and Itachi. "I think he needs lubrication," he called over to them.

"Can you not wait until we get home for that?" Kakuzu barked back, he'd finally managed to get back on his feet and was working on balancing enough to stay there. Itachi trotted over to where the artists were and peered curiously at Sasori before padding off behind a nearby bush.

"Shut up, yeah," Deidara yelled back, while Sasori decided which of the three to glare at, "His joints have seized up. It's only happened once before, we need some oil so he can move again,"

Itachi chose this moment to return. Of course, his perfect little self would be the hero of this situation. He was dragging an oil can with him.

"Thanks Itachi!" Deidara cried, picking him up and setting him back on the horse. Itachi pointed his nose in the air and closed his eyes snootily, the bastard. Sasori waited as patiently as he could muster while Deidara set about oiling his joints, and flexing each one as he did so. Eventually he was mobile and on his feet again.

He pushed the blonde one away from him, pre-empting the hug that was coming his way.

"Not now brat," he spat. "It took you long enough, now are you going to explain what the hell is going?"

Of course, his partner, used to his sour attitude, launched into his tale of munchkins, meringue fairies and blowing up a cornfield. Once this wonderful, yet frankly absurd tale was over Sasori considered the situation before speaking.

"So you've been following the road like the woman said after all?"

"We have," Kakuzu answered, "we figured it wouldn't hurt,"

"I suppose it makes sense," the puppet master replied, "now we just have to find Hidan, Zetsu, and possibly that idiot in the mask,"

Itachi woofed his response. Sasori ignored him.

"Well, un?" Deidara was already on the clay horse again and cantering off down the yellow brick road, he turned around to call out at them. "what are we waiting for, yeah? Oh and Danna, you can help Kakuzu walk!"


	5. Chapter Four

Oh look! Another Chapter of Oz. In which the boys travel yet deeper into the forests of this strange new land. Who will they encounter this time ? ;) In other news, I like this chapter, it's just a little too talky for me. I'm not fond of writing dialogue but this chapter called for a lot of it. Besides, Hidan wouldn't be Hidan if I didn't allow him to rant, right? Hope you all like this!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Wizard of Oz, I do not own Naruto, or any of its characters used within this story, I make no money from writing this story

* * *

At some point on their travels, the Akatsuki had ventured deeper and deeper into the forest. Now there remained little light, as the canopy overhead shadowed the group. Deidara was now walking in between Sasori and Kakuzu. Earlier on, he'd felt the need to be artistic, and detonated the clay horse, much to Itachi's displeasure. Still the other three were walking along quite comfortably. The blonde had now gotten used to the demon shoes, Kakuzu could walk more than five steps without falling over, and Sasori's joints had ceased to seize up.

Itachi, however, was beginning to feel tired. His legs, being much shorter, were working overtime to keep up with the other three shinobi. He wasn't showing this though. He'd be damned if he showed any of the others he was tired. He hadn't afforded Kisame the luxury of seeing him in any weak state, and there was no way he would be showing Deidara of all people he was fatigued.

And so he trotted along as if nothing bothered him, a short way behind the other three. Besides, if he drew level or indicated he was feeling down in any way he may be forced into the ridiculous spectacle the blonde had the other two in.

During their merry jaunt through the darkening forest, the explosive nin had forced his comrades to link arms with him. He claimed it was to help them walk. Really, Deidara had just wanted to skip with them. He'd seen the scene in a play many years previously and always wanted to try it. No manner of protesting had spared Sasori and Kakuzu from this torture, even when the redhead threatened to poison his young partner.

So it was with a deal of surprise when the bomber stopped suddenly, letting go of his comrades, who promptly planted their faces to the canary cobbled carriageway.

"Deidara, you brat, what was that for?" spat Sasori, clambering back to his feet. Kakuzu merely sat up where he was and sent them all a death glare. His hat had fallen off in the tumble, and he was now clutching it down over his scalp possessively.

"Didn't you hear that, master?" he gave the redhead a look.

"Hear what?" growled Kakuzu. Itachi, Kakuzu and Sasori all stared at Deidara as he glanced around nervously.

"That weird roaring sound just now, yeah?" the blonde replied, the pupil darting from side to side in his visible eye.

"I think you're hearing things," the bounty hunter told him, still not making the effort to stand.

"There it was again!" Deidara cried, turning quickly on the spot, as if to find the source for the mystery noise. "I'm scared guys, what if it's a unicorn? Or an otter? Or a lion?"

For not the first time, and definitely not the last, his companions doubted Deidara's intelligence. Sasori, trying as hard as possible not to laugh too hard at the blonde's outburst began to berate the young Akatsuki.

"I'm not sure where to begin with what is wrong with your theory there," the puppeteer scoffed. "Then again, your ideas about things do often border on the absurd, take your views on art for example,"

"Please Sasori, not that argument, not now," Kakuzu cut in before the argument could take off.

"Oh fine," sulked the redhead, "still, otters aren't exactly terrifying beasts are they? And they live near rivers, not forests like this. And aren't unicorns supposed to help people, not be scary? That is if they even exist, which is highly unlikely. None of the animals on your list seem to go together,"

"Well, what do you think is making the noise then, un?" huffed the blonde, crossing his arms in annoyance. "And I didn't think talking meringues existed, but we were proved wrong there. Weird things happen around here, yeah. Take the Uchiha for example, I never would have thought his presence bearable until now!"

"How about tigers?" Sasori countered, "they make more sense to be in a group of vicious animals. And seeing as we're in a forest, it could be a bear,"

"Lions and tigers and bears," thought Itachi, "oh my." He wasn't the slightest bit perturbed by Deidara's comments toward his tolerability. The blonde could hold quite a grudge. Somewhere in the recesses of his canine mind the fact that the blonde was scared of unicorns and otters registered, and he let out a woof of delight.

His barking was cut off by a much louder noise. A terrifying roar sounded out in the trees and the akatsuki quietened their squabbling immediately.

Without warning a large tan mass of hair burst out in front of them, colliding with the group of shinobi.

"Argh! Fuck!" the new arrival bellowed when they'd all composed themselves.

"Wait, I'd know that cursing anywhere," Kakuzu spoke, "Hidan?"

"Kakuzu!" Hidan looked at the scarecrow and beamed, "you bastard! Am I glad I found you. I had this terrible nightmare. There was this demon pineapple, and it had all these fucking shadows! Then it dismembered me, and I was stuck in a damn hole! It was terrifying."

The artistic duo looked at each other and smirked. Did Hidan realise how he had dressed yet? Still at least he wasn't like dog boy. Kakuzu however now had his favourite past time back; bullying his immortal partner.

"I'm not sure which I am more surprised at," the old man chuckled, "the fact that you are a furry, or the fact you know the word dismembered,"

"What? Are you stupid old man? I am not some Jashin damned furry! And of course I know what dismembered means. Its is the will of my lord that I commit any and all acts of violence in his name and.."

"Just shut up Hidan," Kakuzu silenced the other momentarily. He'd somehow located a mirror and let the immortal see his reflection.

"What the hell? Why am I a lion?" He bawled when he realised. In the meantime, Itachi had sidled up to Deidara. It looked like they were going to be on their travels again soon and he really didn't want to walk too much more. His best chance of a lift was with the blonde.

"You know Itachi, I don't think we're in Ame anymore," Deidara spoke to the doggy ninja, picking him up. Itachi mentally applauded himself. Hidan looked at the bomber, a look of deep concentration on his face.

"When were we in Amegakure?" he asked eventually. The other four Akatsuki looked at him incredulously.

"Hidan, you do realise that the base was in Ame right?" Sasori frowned at him.

"Shit, seriously?"

"Why do you think it rained all the time you moron?" Kakuzu scolded him, "honestly, I often wonder why the leader partnered me with you,"

"Because you kept killing your-"

"He wasn't actually asking the question Deidara" Sasori cut off his own partners unintelligent response.

The five of them stood in a circle, nobody seeming to put any ideas forward. Hidan twirled his tail in his hands idly, while Deidara ensured he was gripping Itachi tightly enough not to drop him. Kakuzu, finally standing, checked his floppy hat was secure upon his head again and leant on his partner's shoulder for support. Sasori, withholding the need to glare at the Uchiha in his partner's hand was the first to speak.

"Shall we get going then?" he asked, turning the way they'd been heading. He was met with a series of nods. Where it was they were going to get to was still a mystery to them, but for now it couldn't hurt to continue down the yellow brick road.


	6. Chapter five

Hi guys, yes it's been a while, and sorry this chapter is just so poor. I've deleted and reworked it so many times and am just frustrated now, so here it is. Hope you all like it more than I do.

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own the Wizard of Oz, I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters used within the story. I make no money from this story.

* * *

Kakuzu's eyebrow twitched. He'd been relatively calm on the journey through this new land, but now he was starting to grow irritated. Why?

Hidan was whistling. The shrill noise was cutting through the air, directly into his ears and giving him a migraine. If it was loud enough for somebody whose head was (albeit temporarily) full of straw to be annoyed by, how were the others standing it?

He glared at the back of the lion man. Hidan of course, hadn't noticed his partner's irritation, and whistled louder still, twirling his long tail round in circles as he did so.

Of course, Deidara had heard Hidan begin to whistle and packed his ears with clay to drown out the sound. Sasori too heard Hidan's whistling. However, due to many years working with Deidara and his explosions, constant exposure to loud noises had somehow given the puppet tinnitus. As a result, the redhead just thought his ears were acting up again.

Now Itachi, he too had been irritated by the whistling, enough so to jump out of Deidara's arms and trot along the floor so as to be further away from it. However, down on the floor he was beginning to regret the decision. The yellow brick road was becoming overgrown with more and more crimson flowers. Their heady scent was filling his sensitive canine nostrils at this point and overwhelming him. He was facing a dilemma, whine for someone's attention so he could be picked up again, or let the pollen continue to aggravate him and sneeze.

Itachi did not sneeze, and he did not whine. The internal conflict combined with the rapidly increasing numbers of poppies were taking their toll on the Uchiha. Nature, however, had decided to conspire against the little dog, and a strangled yelping sound rang out as he tried to hold back the sneezing fit.

Hidan stopped whistling immediately and the group's attention went straight to Itachi.

"Did he just?" Hidan began, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"He did, yeah!" Deidara smirked, deeming it safe to take the clay out of his ears and bending down to Itachi's level. "I didn't know you had hay fever Itachi," the blonde continued. Hidan snorted at the comment,

"More like he has gay fever from hanging around you and puppet boy," he jeered, laughing at his pathetic insults. He held up a hand for Kakuzu to slap him five, needless to say the elderly shinobi left him hanging.

"Sasori and I are not gay! And if anyone has gay fever it's you!" Deidara spat back, always one to join in an argument. Sasori declined to comment and looked away. Kakuzu and Itachi rolled their eyes, and Itachi sneezed again.

As if on cue, Hidan let out an almighty sneeze.

"Ha, see, You have it too!" Deidara laughed, before sneezing himself. The anthropomorphic lion roared in laughter at him. Fearing the pair of younger akatsuki would come to blows, they were promptly split up by their respective partners and marched further into the field.

Itachi still hadn't had his wishes fulfilled, and what's worse, his sneezing was becoming more frequent. Not only that but now he was feeling drowsy. He was doing everything within his canine power not to yawn right now. The weakness of sneezing had been enough. His trot began to slow to a more comfortable walking pace, and humiliatingly, to a crawl.

Luckily for him, he wasn't the first to yawn. That privilege was granted to Deidara, who stretched his unusual palms skyward and opened the mouth on his face to bizarre proportions.

"What, you fucking tired now too Blondie?" Hidan mocked, fighting a yawn himself.

"I wish you two would shut up and just get a move on," Kakuzu growled. The abundance of cheerful red flowers to wade through was lost on the scarecrow. He just wanted to be out of this ridiculous land and back home counting his money.

"Can't we just have a quick rest, yeah?" Deidara yawned again, "look even Itachi is tired," he pointed to the dog. It was true, Itachi's pace had slowed even more, and as they watched him the little dog plopped to the ground and began letting out dainty snores.

"You know, that's a pretty good idea," Hidan slurred, falling to the ground himself.

Before Kakuzu and Sasori knew it, their companions were fast asleep in the vast field of poppies. Kakuzu briefly considered kicking Hidan a few times to wake him up and get moving, but then reasoned that the Jashinist would probably enjoy it. Sasori was also considering kicking Deidara, but considered that as he didn't require sleep himself, the others might actually need the break.

"You can rest if you want to," he informed the scarecrow, "I do not require sleep and will be able to keep watch."

"I don't need to sleep, and neither should Hidan," Kakuzu responded, "don't you find it weird how they all started sneezing and needing sleep all at the same time?"

"It is a little strange I must admit," the redhead replied. He sat down in the field and took a closer look at the poppies. It quickly dawned on him just why the other three were asleep.

"These poppies are poisoned," he informed the older shinobi at his side, "it must be affecting the brats."

"So why aren't you and I affected?" Kakuzu asked the puppet.

"Maybe because you're full of straw? And my not being you know, fully human, may be something to do with it. So, what shall we do?"

"I say we leave them here to die," Kakuzu shrugged. Sasori was about to protest, but he agreed. Sometimes he'd like nothing more than to abandon some of the others to their own humanity. Then again, the thought of what Kisame would do to them if they let Itachi die scared him. He explained this to Kakuzu who paled.

The pair of them had killed and cycled through many partners before Deidara and Hidan, the loss wouldn't be that much to the two older ninja. Kisame however was someone not to mess with and they knew he'd be trouble if they left Itachi.

Sighing, the pair knew what they had to do.

"Kakuzu, pick those two up and stand behind me please," Sasori asked the scarecrow. Sasori himself was currently clutching Itachi with one hand. When it looked like Kakuzu might refuse, he spoke again.

"If you don't stand behind me, you'll get burned,"

Kakuzu still looked unfazed.

"And I'll take your hat,"

"Like hell you will!" Kakuzu cried, hurriedly throwing Hidan over one shoulder and picking up Deidara.

Smirking in victory, Sasori extended his free hand before him. He hoped that in his tin form he would still have use of some of his puppet powers. Sure enough, a nozzle made itself present on his outstretched palm and a powerful flame erupted. Within seconds, the poppies surrounding them were ablaze, their powerful scent smouldering in the fire.

* * *

Somewhere, far, far away, the little group of Akatsuki were being observed. Stirring her cauldron, the wicked witch of the west let out an eardrum bursting shriek. The image that had bubbled below angered her. How dare they? How dare that red-haired tinman foil her plans to retrieve her ruby slippers from the blonde haired lady boy? She cried out in frustration again, before taking a swipe at the bubbling pot, its contents spilled out across her floor and she stormed from the room.

"I'll get you next time my pretty," she growled, "you and your little dog too!"


	7. Chapter Six

A little shorter than my last chapter, and a little later than promised, but still, I'm happy with this! This chapter our villainous heroes arrive at somewhere important!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, nor do I own any of it's characters. I do not own the wizard of oz. I make no money from this writing.

* * *

'Take that Itachi,' Sasori thought to himself smugly, 'you aren't the only one around here that can use fire.' He was still in full congratulatory mode after being the hero in the poppy field. It hadn't taken long to eradicate the poison laden flowers, despite the little incident where he'd almost singed Kakuzu's straw. After giving the three unconscious terrorists a little of one of his own antidotes, they'd come to rather quickly. Naturally Deidara raved about how intelligent his Danna was, and the redheaded one couldn't quite bring himself to abuse his partner into silence.

A relatively short walk later, a new obstacle in their path began to rise on the horizon. The band of five stared at it, still walking, the shape becoming more and more defined as they approached.

"Is that entire city painted green?" Kakuzu asked, slightly unsure if he was the only one seeing it.

"I'd say it's more jade really," Deidara offered, as some sort of explanation.

"Does it really fucking matter what colour it is?" Hidan asked the blonde, rolling his eyes as he did so.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course it matters," Sasori cut in with his own opinion, "and Deidara it's painfully obvious that that is viridian, not jade,"

"What! Whoever heard of something as retarded as a Viridian City, yeah?" came the response. Somewhere in the back of Kakuzu's mind a memory flickered at that comment. He was a natural collector, and something within him said he was missing one hundred and fifty of something.

"Maybe lime?"

"Nah it's much darker, almost fern,"

"Looking at it now it's more teal, Danna, like your nail polish,"

"Don't be absurd brat, my nail polish is 'emerald envy' and you know it,"

"Only because you made us trek around all those boutiques to damn well find it, yeah. What was wrong with my 'black magic' I'll never know,"

"You know, emerald is probably about right," Kakuzu muttered. They'd arrived at the immense gates to the oddly coloured city, and he was growing bored of the artsy talk. To think it had descended into talks of nail polish. Why the pair couldn't just pick straightforward colours like green, or red or purple bothered him.

"So what the hell do we do now?" Hidan interrupted the miser's train of thought. It was a fairly good question, even coming from Hidan's mouth. The yellow brick road had ended several feet behind them and the group of Akatsuki were now stood upon a large stone step.

Itachi shook his head. The only visible solution for the group was to enter the city, did any of them realise that? Rather than waiting from them he padded up the great gates of the emerald city and slipped through its bars.

* * *

It had taken the other four half an hour to realise that Itachi had gone on ahead of them. Luckily, he wasn't that hard to find. All of the walking they had done had made the Uchiha rather hungry, sure they'd rested a little, but not really eaten. It was the way of the world that most things came easily to Itachi, as soon after he'd entered the city, he'd come across a rather fantastical looking patisserie.

The people owning the little shop were altogether too jolly for his tastes. Then again many of the native inhabitants of this universe were a little on the enthusiastic side of cheerful. And then there was the little matter that everything in this strange metropolis was vivid green, including many of the delicacies of this eatery. Still, food was food. Now there was just the matter of procuring said food in his canine state.

Most dogs would have whined and whined, making faces that emphasised their large eyes, and continually done so until food was offered. The stout woman serving instead found a small black terrier staring up at her intently. The dog had unusual hair that flopped in front of its eyes, which were more intelligent and intense than on any dog she had ever seen. Moreover, the strange little animal was completely silent, content to sit and watch her as she worked.

Wiping her hands on the front of a frilly, bottle green apron she walked over to the animal and bent to its level.

"Hello my little man," she spoke kindly, and gave Itachi a comforting scratch behind the ears "and how can I help you today?"

It was there that Deidara and Sasori found Itachi later. He had been seated atop his own table, and was surrounded by half eaten petits fours. Itachi was one happy dog.

"There you are!" the blonde exclaimed, scooping the stuffed dog into his arms.

"It was rather selfish of you to come and eat without us Itachi," Sasori scowled.

"Oh like you eat anyway, un" Deidara bit at him, which only served to make the tin puppet master even sourer. The explosives expert was about to speak again when he the pair noticed something large and green headed their way. She had greying hair curling into tight buns, and a frilly apron on. The clothing she wore underneath that reminded Deidara of a stereotypical yodeller. He cringed.

"Oh what a lovely couple," The patisserie worker cooed, "I take it this little fellow is your pet?"

"We aren't a couple," Deidara grumbled annoyed at being mistaken for a female yet again.

"Why yes, he is, thank you for looking after him for us. We were so worried we'd never find him," Sasori spoke over him, turning on the charm for the woman. "Weren't we dear?"

When Deidara glared at Sasori, unwilling to respond, Itachi bit him. The bomber perked up immediately, flashing the woman a smile.

"Oh yes, thank you!" he spoke in a terribly effeminate voice, "but we really must be moving on, people to see, yeah," he grabbed at Sasori's hand and made to walk off hurriedly.

"Oh I expect you have an audience with the wizard then?" The woman smiled pleasantly, would you mind doing me a favour my dears and deliver this for me?" She procured a large basket of delights from behind her counter. Sasori and Deidara spun back around, and all three akatsuki stared at her.

"Wizard?" they asked in unison.


End file.
